Trouble

I sometimes wonder if people see me as more trouble than I'm worth, and move on. I don't pretend to not be trouble, there's plenty of things wrong with me on more than one level. The biggest issue that arises in relationships though is my insecurity. Now forgetting for a second all of the stereotypical songs and quotes and whatnot that follow a broken heart (First Cut is the Deepest, Sometimes I wake up crying, Starts With Goodbye, Brokenheartsville, Just to See you Smile, and of course the best poems in the world: When We Two Parted and I Watched Thee, by Lord Byron, just to name a few) there is something to be said about having your heart broken. It does hurt, and it does leave a mark, figuratively and literally in my case, and it does change a person. I heard it described once thusly: You can only kick a puppy so many times before its spirit breaks and it learns to fear. However melodramatic it sounds, its absolutely true. I've been hurt a lot. I've had a great number of relationships fail on me, often dramatically of the crashing and burning variety. So what if its made me a little skittish? Its so difficult for me to not know where I stand in relationships, and thats what screws me over everytime.

I've gotta go shower now, ultimate frisbee game in an hour, more later.