FUCK!!!!! Why the fuck do I always have to screw this up?!?!?! Now I'm sitting here sobbing and fuck I want to cut, and I'm so fucking sick of this. Every time I open up and let someone in he breaks my heart. Robert did it. Troy did it. Now Craig? Every guy I start to trust. Every time I think I'm safe. Fuck this! I've had enough. My new years resolution was to live life for me. Not for them. Part of living for me is not letting myself get hurt. I WON'T DO IT AGAIN. I won't let him hurt me. Not this time. Fuck, I want to hit something. I want to hit Robert, for using me like he did. I want to fucking take Troy's head off for treating me the way he did. Telling me he loved me, then telling me he didn't anymore, after I'd waited a month for him to get back from England. Then lying to me for 3 months before deciding he was going to break up with me, then having sex with me, *THEN* breaking up with me. Fucking bastard. And now Craig....all I want is for someone to care about me. Me, not my body, not what I can do for them, but for me. Is there so much wrong with me that I just can't be loved? How do I fix that? I don't want to hit Craig. I want to hug him. I want someone to tell me its ok, that they're there for me, no matter what. I just want to be loved. Why is that so hard?